First comes love, then comes moving in together — at least, that’s how it tends to go these days.
Even if moving in with someone seems to be the logical next step in your relationship, though, you should do some reconnaissance before making it official.
Any couple who’s going to make this setup work will have to have mastered communication already. So, it should be no problem to have a serious chat with your partner before moving in.
But what are the right questions to ask before moving in together? Here are seven essential inquiries to make.
Why Are We Moving In Together?
Most couples have the same answer to this question — they want to test their compatibility before taking the next step. However, you should make sure that the next step is on the horizon if you want a more serious commitment. You don’t want to move in and then stall in your romantic development.
Moving in together shouldn’t be about convenience or financial breaks, although both are perks of living with your partner. It should be about your bond and wanting to explore it even further.
This doesn’t mean you have to be on track to get married or have kids, for example. But it should be about deepening your connection, first and foremost.
Is There Anything I Should Know About Your Living Habits?
You’ve spent significant time with your partner before moving in together, so you know a lot of their quirks. But it’s time to find out if they have any other habits that they may have hidden from you thus far.
Do you usually leave clothes strewn around your room? Do you wear a dental night guard when you’re by yourself? Do you stay up late playing video games with friends when your partner isn’t there?
These truths are essential to know before you agree to move in together. Most won’t be dealbreakers, but openness and honesty will get you far.
Who Gets What Space?
Divvying up your floor plan should be at the top of your moving in together checklist.
Before cohabitation, you’ve both had your own rooms with plenty of space and storage for yourselves. So, you should figure out what will go where before you move into the place.
On that note, you should go through your belongings and cut down who brings what. Will there be any items of contention? Say your partner has an ugly piece of furniture you don’t like — how will you broach that conversation?
It would be best if you ironed all of this out before you start packing and moving, though. That way, you can seamlessly unpack knowing who gets which spaces.
How Will We Divide the Household Chores?
When you go to stay at your partner’s house, you might chip in and help clean up dinner dishes, for example. However, keeping the place tidy falls on their shoulders. The same goes for your abode, too.
Once you move in together, though, you’ll have to figure out who will do which chores. Will you cook together each night? Who will be in charge of the laundry?
It’s not just about keeping the place clean, though. Household chores extend to other vital areas, such as paying the bills. Figure out now who will be responsible for getting the rent and utilities paid on time.
Answer these questions before you move in together, so you’re clear on your responsibilities.
How Can We Keep Our Relationship Spicy?
When you don’t live together, you inevitably spend some nights apart from your significant other. Distance makes the heart grow fonder — and it keeps things exciting behind closed doors, too.
Once you live together, though, this space will be gone. And some couples find that their romantic relations fall into a bit of a rut.
Of course, moving in with someone isn’t all about the wild, steamy nights together — it’s more about the companionship and bond you share. But it would help if you talked about how you’ll keep the spark alive once you cohabitate and see them at their most real and vice-versa.
What Has Been Your Biggest Pet Peeve With Past Roommates?
Moving in with a partner is much different than living with a roommate. You should feel much more open to tell your partner to, say, clean up after themselves or help with chores.
However, it doesn’t hurt to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend what has bugged them about previous housemates. That way, each of you can avoid the behaviors that would otherwise irk your loved one.
You might even find that your partner has a confession — something you already do bothers them. Perhaps you leave dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher. Or maybe you hop into bed after applying faux tan, temporarily staining the sheets.
All of these pet peeves can be easily avoided, so long as you’re honest and clear about them. And your relationship will be much better without any ambiguity.
Are You Worried About Anything?
The best way to conquer fear is to make it known. You and your significant other are sure to have some trepidation about moving in together.
Address it now, or else it’ll continue to simmer beneath the surface. It may never bubble over, but you could find yourself in an I-told-you-so moment… with yourself. So, rather than hiding your fears and concerns, talk about them now, so you and your partner know what you expect from each other.
Don’t Be Afraid of the Questions to Ask Before Moving In Together
It can be daunting to run through all of these questions to ask before moving in together. But it’s a vital step to take before you make a huge life step.
If you’re both on the same page, you’re going to fit right in as a couple — and a couple of roommates. So, ask away, and leave us a reply below if you think we’ve missed out on any other important questions to consider.