Divorce is a reality which some of us just have to accept. It is sometimes better to start over fresh than try to mend something which has proven not to work. Whatever the reason for the divorce, it can leave families separated and if there are children involved, that can complicate things.
There are several things you need to consider when families with children are separating. First of all, the custody of the children will need to be determined, as well as visitation rights and potentially child support. All of this is a lot easier to do when both parties are entering the divorce willingly.
In fact, the divorce itself is a lot easier when both parties agree to the end of the relationship. In that case, you can avoid divorce court and use the services of divorce mediators like Pacific Coast Mediation.
What Is Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is a more informal and relaxed alternative to a court processed divorce. It involves a lot more talking and listening than a court and can lead to much more even terms of the divorce. It does, however, require both parties to agree to the mediation and later on, to the terms which were agreed upon.
The mediators themselves don’t have any executive power and cannot tell you what to do. They act as advisors to both parties and they attempt to find a common ground which they can agree on. When it comes to courts, the decisions tend to be more one-sided and the other party is typically very displeased with the result. What’s more the cost of attorneys, court fees and other potential costs is astronomically higher than that of mediation.
What about Parenting Coordinators?
When there are children involved, there is a lot bigger chance of dispute and disagreement than when it comes to the financial aspect. A Parenting coordinator will be a neutral third party in the divorce who can help you reach a compromise, similar to how a divorce mediator helps with other matters when it comes to divorce.
A Parenting coordinator will be given all the necessary information and then they can be a part of the conversation and offer a plan which can help you and your former spouse to successfully and jointly take care of your child or children. The less conflict you two face, the easier the whole process is likely to be for them.
Do I Need to Consult a Parenting Coordinator?
If you have opted for mediation instead of divorce court, it is reasonable to assume that the divorce is somewhat amicable. This makes the whole separation process a lot simpler and can be over much faster and leave fewer scars on everyone.
Your divorce mediator can actually help you resolve the children issue without the need to involve an additional consultant. It requires a lot of understanding and willingness to compromise from both parties and if the mediator feels like they are out of their comfort zone and expertise, they will likely ask you to consult a parenting coordinator as well.
They can be called in at any time during the mediation, which means that you can start the whole process without them and only involve them if you feel like the compromise is eluding you and that the whole process is dragging out.
Divorce is an unpleasant matter for all parties involved, but children are especially sensitive to the emotional turmoil which comes from it. You should do all that you can to minimize the stress you put on them and mediation and parenting coordination are the way towards that goal.